DWR

so i think that he hates
me but i dont really know if he does
he doesnt talk to me anymore and i guess that is his nature but he talks so much around his others friends and its makes me want to hurt little children and feel no remorse for that
and that is so not how i am
i have told some people that know him better than i that problem and they said dont really piss him off because that will just things worse and i want him to talk to me and i dont know what to do
i want to tell him how i feel and
i dont know how thats going to go through
i think he knows that i like him
and i know that he doesnt really care and that makes me want to blow my brains out
because he is the reason that i breath
the reason i wake up in the morning
everytime i see him i become insanely nrevous and dizzy and i act extremely weird
and i get butterflies in my stomach and he is so emtionless
towards everything
and i am not like that
and i want to die
and he hates emos
and i am not emo
but i feel like killing myself and i cant do that
but i feel the real need to cut and i cant do that anymore either or else i will be taken out of my placement and i dont want to move anymore moving is for those people who like change
i dont like change
that is one thing about me
i hate change and i hate big towns and stupid people and preps and those people who like to conform
i am one that sticks out of the crowd
i do not blend in
i have been called free-spirited
(by the one i am talking about above even)
i believe that
but i want him
and i know he hates me
and todd you did not make anything better today
i love you like the gay bestfriend you are to me but saying that what happened to me was like some preppy episode of degrassi where people were having oral sex mage me want to kill you
bye